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CHINAWOOD

CHINAWOOD? IS THAT THE NEW RESTAURANT IN TOWn?

So here’s the deal: Trump starts throwing tariffs around like he’s playing Monopoly with real countries, and China’s like “Bet. No more Hollywood for us.” And just like that, Captain America got kicked out of the group chat. Enter Chinawood where the budgets are big, the morals are mandatory, and the dragons come standard. Instead of superheroes and sex scenes, we get 75-part slow-burns where people fall in love through intense eye contact and mutual respect for the Party.

China to ban the import of america films? Perfect

now introducing CHINAWOOD, where every movie is carefully hand-scrubbed of emotion, freedom, and too much kissing. Welcome to the future of cinema: one approved storyline, 1.4 billion viewers, zero plot twists.

Hollywood is pure capitalism. explosions, reboots, and whatever The Rock is doing this week. Chinawood? It’s state-sponsored cinema with extra censorship and zero chill. The action scenes are patriotic, the villains speak English, and every ending teaches you how to be a better citizen. It's not just entertainment it's soft power with subtitles. Welcome to Chinawood. No capes. No kissing. Just vibes and ideology.

TL;DR: China got mad at USa tariffs and responded by banning Hollywood movies. Now the chinese degens will get dragons, moral lessons, and patriotic plot armor instead of Marvel.

HOLLYWOOD VS CHINAWOOD
The Cinematic Cold War Nobody Asked For

The Plots:

Hollywood plots now follow this formula:

“The misunderstood AI, who is trans-coded and vegan, must defeat a billionaire in a hoverchair who refuses to recycle.”

Meanwhile in Chinawood:

“A humble rice farmer discovers he’s the long-lost heir to the dynasty, defeats a Western villain using tea wisdom, and cries while saluting the flag for 7 full minutes.”

Representation Wars:

Hollywood casts look like a UN summit where every character is pansexual, neurodivergent, gluten-free, and carries generational trauma.

You’ll cry when the bisexual tree elf confronts their capitalist colonizer father about environmental justice… and wins with love.

Chinawood doesn’t do “representation.”

They do "preservation." One actor, one accent, one message:

“China invented everything and we’re not afraid to reshoot the moon landing to prove it.”

Character Arcs:

Hollywood heroes start the film unsure of their pronouns, but by the end they’ve dismantled five systems of oppression, started a non-profit, and hugged their inner child.

Chinawood heroes start noble and get even nobler. They fight bandits, save their village, die in slow motion, then get reborn as a tiger... with honor.